Tender

A New Moon in Libra and, again, Chiron

Again, we’re being treated to a lunation with a strong ruler. Venus is in her diurnal home sign to watch over this Libra New Moon, gently balancing, composing. The allover energies are everything but easy - there is raw tenderness in this, along with an exaggerated sense of hope and fulfilment. It is Chiron, again and once more, in a hopeful hurtful square to Jupiter in exaltation. While the New Moon is separating from the opposition with the centaur, this does mean the balsamic dark Moon has been in just that position only hours before. Aching from separation. Needing to belong. And with it a need to believe, to almost trust, yes we will get it right this time, it is going to work out fine, really, it will... Or next time, maybe. And in hope there is hurt, it’s the pain we fear to be sent back to. The remembrance of hurtful experience. But what if we try... And where healing rushes in, the wound just got deeper. Amplified by all those times we were not just disappointed, but let down. Rejected, misunderstood, unwanted. And our need to retreat can be just as big, as enormous as our need for connection and loving care. We are in a healing crisis. We’re scared it will feel too good and we need it too badly to do without and then we will have to do without it again and it will hurt even more so maybe it’s better to let it live in a kind of future projection. And those of us who have it engraved in our being: when something feels good, the pain will outweigh it. We shy away. Retreating into our woundedness for the safety of familiarity. It’s always there, it can be trusted. If nothing else can. We want to withdraw, lick our wounds, snuggle in to process and heal until we feel strong enough to reemerge, to get in touch with the world and each other again.

Under this New Moon in a T-square with Jupiter, Chiron and Eris, there is the tension between a need to connect, to share, and a sense of caution, the need to protect, to not get exposed in all our vulnerability, and it is fierce Eris coming in with that sharp impuls to scream and bite and scratch and shout hey I have been wronged, and I have a right to stand up, here I am and my feelings are valid and I have to be taken into account and I have every right to be angry - not to underestimate the Mercury Mars conjunction still being pretty much exact. Some things have to come up and out and they’re coming from deep down inside. Subconscious emotions being a driving force. And again, it’s likely to be anger that is boiling up and over, screaming scratching biting.. Or if there is room, and if we are so inclined, we might be plumbing the depths of the psyche in stillness, and this is what comes up, this is how we feel.

It’s those things that aren’t allowed to come out, to be shared, to be seen, for very Libra-shadow reasons. Because they aren’t nice and becoming, so we keep it all in to be liked, to fit in, until we can’t any longer and there is a forceful eruption with all it’s collateral damage, vengeful, mean, unforgiving. It is in ignoring and glossing over where unhealthy relationships sprout. Impeccable Venus is in a tense semisquare to Lilith in Scorpio, who is not inclined to reign in the shadows and the deeper, darker feelings and needs. While the reckless honesty of Mercury Mars in Scorpio will hurt feelings and throw people off balance while purging toxicity. Libra strives to keep things nice and easy. It’s just that the nice and easy is fake and bristle as long as the not so fancy stuff is being ignored, suppressed, goes unaddressed. The non-confrontational approach isn’t working so well right now. So what shall it be? Retreating into our shell? Or can we give it a chance?

This Libra Moon is daring us, inviting us, almost luring us in to open up and connect. Now is the time to create safe space together, safe space where the good and the bad and the ugly is welcomed unconditionally. Where healing occurs. And this doesn’t necessary mean we make the wound go away. But it does take the edge off the pain. It might mean that in getting to a place where it’s safe to open up and share and just be ourselves and be vulnerable and hurt we can truly begin to see each other. And in this, we see ourselves. In feeling seen, healing begins. Libra is validation. And only in sharing we can fully accept each other. Reassembling. Becoming whole. Can we give it a chance? Is this where we maybe, just maybe, begin to experience and explore the difference between natural boundaries and full blown defenses? What if our need for protection can be met and safety, nourishment, love and connection all can be found in the same place? Can we take the urge and friction and pressure out of healing, stop treating it like it is an achievement, a trophy, and just let it happen, maybe even sit with it. Can we learn to receive? Finally, we can find safe space to share, a place where we feel fully accepted, where our needs are met.. and this is where we fear to get carried away by hope. This is where we pull back. So yes, there is effort involved, there are risks, dangers even on the path of the wounded, and it takes courage, too. It is but the next step on our healing journey. A huge step. Under the guidance of master healer Chiron and benelovent Jupiter. All we have to do is walk into the wide open arms of this unconditional embrace. Is it too good to be true? To heal we have to believe. In something that gently holds us, protects us, supports us when we need it. In each other. In ourselves.

A grand trine in water forming. Our emotional memory surfacing, floating. While sinking into the inner world, cautiously coming into flow. Can we trust the water to hold us, to absorb blood sweat and tears? Can we trust the flow, relax into it, become immersed in a process of cleansing, drifting into a safe haven, opening up to a phase of emotional growth and maturation. Allow. Allow trust? Maybe. At our own pace. Let it be. Flow.

The position of Chiron and Eris in this is an awkward one. There is the aversity of the Scorpio signature with it’s intrinsic sense of cautious distrust. Just, you know, making sure before going all in. There’s streak of rebellion, too, in the posture of the Centaur and the Goddess of Discord. In not letting it go. Not appeasing, conforming, not fitting in. In standing alone. Together alone in a healing crisis.